Whose agenda are you following?
What do you want most out of life? Is what you are chasing what you really want? For me, the answer to that question “what do I really want most out of life?” is peace. More than anything, I desire peace. Not the peace at any price type of peace, rather the peace that creates inner calm and tranquility. I would love to be able to say that is a state I experience often and the truth is often the opposite. Like most of humanity I succumb to the drama and to the gravitational pull of circumstance that surrounds me. You are either running your own agenda or you are following someone else’s. When that happens I need to stop, breathe and re commit and re focus on what is important to me. Sounds easy enough. Like most things, theory is easier than practice.
Protect your space at all costs
There is no doubt about it. Life is getting faster. We used to think that the universe was slowing down as it expanded; we now know it is accelerating. Technology doubles every couple of years. The information age has devolved into information overload. Everywhere I turn someone either wants something from me or is trying to convince me that their way is the right way, when the “truth” is there is no “right” way just different ways of achieving an end. Whether their end suits me is a whole other conversation. In all this, it is easy to lose sight of peace and, since it is what I want most, I need to find a way back to it. The easiest way would be not to lose it in the first place and for all the reasons I listed above that can be challenging.
5 ways to regain peace in an instant
- Protect your space at all costs. If someone does cross a boundary it is up to you to reinforce the boundary. Perhaps you are new to boundaries, which means they are new to you having them too. It takes time to train those around you. Your job is to keep reinforcing the boundary until your space is respected.
- Know what is your bag and what is not your bag. This comes down to what you are willing to be responsible for. No one can make you be responsible for anyone or anything. That is yours to work out. If you have trained others you will take on more than your fair share, some retraining may be in order. This is closely associated to the point above.
- Be clear about your values. When you are clear about your values it is easier to decide what you will give your time to, what is important and what is not. For example, if you value health then greasy fries are off the menu as those choices are incompatible.
- Ask for what you want or need. If you find yourself in a state of unease check in and see if you have asked for what you want or need. If you have not then take the time to communicate what you want and what you expect.
- Give up expectations. Didn’t I just say to take the time to communicate what you want and need? True that, I did. This one can be a little tricky. We all have expectations about how things are “supposed” to go. And that is the trap. There is a whole pile of upset associated with expectations, both fulfilled and unfulfilled. And that is why expectation is a peace killer.
Let go and let be
When you can come from a space of commitment and give up your attachment to the result it is easy to flow with life. So many things are outside of our control.
The one thing you have absolute dominion over is you and how you respond.
Not that this is an easy thing to do. At least not at first and like most things in life it is a habit. One that if you take the time to cultivate it will serve you well and restore a sense of peace and calm to you and therefore those around you. Don’t take my word for it. Give it a try.