How things are “supposed” to be…
You’ve heard the saying made famous by John Lennon, “Life is what happens when you are making plans”… We all have ideas of how life is going to turn out and our preferences for how that should unfold. I am no different. 16 years ago I walked out of my restaurant and embarked upon another life. A life in which making a difference was and still is my focus. My journey to Living Consciously was born out of a difference to make a difference to myself and then pass that difference on to others. I have spent most of my life struggling against myself, living from a fear based context and resisting pretty much everything that came my way. Especially, if it differed to what I thought the status quo should be. Three guess how that went. In two word, NOT well!
What you resist persists
The problem with resistance is it takes a lot of energy to resist what is. Every time you look at a situation and resist it, flow is blocked and that reality is entrenched further. I am not suggesting for a second that current reality will just disappear as if by magic. Unfortunately, it does not quite work that way. That takes time to change if indeed you can change it. It is true the world of outer effects mirrors your internal reality and that is a subject for another time. Resistance to what is so only causes pain and discomfort. Further, it does not alter what is, one iota. Resistance is futile and it will sap the life out of you if you let it. Believe me, I know. I have tried it.
Accept fully what is
This is a concept I have had trouble with mainly because I confused acceptance with condoning the situation, whatever that might be. I preferred to fight because I saw resistance as “giving in”. Nothing could be further from the truth. What it does mean is situations, if accepted can then be dealt with, if necessary, and the energy that might have gone into resistance can now be channeled into the appropriate action; acceptance is not necessarily a passive thing. What it doe mean is that you don’t make the person, event, situation or whatever the case may be wrong and allow for the appropriate solution to arise. More recent experience has taught me that it does. I created a belief that Everything that happens to me, happens for my greatest benefit. The universe has a better plan for me that I could ever have and that plan can only unfold with ease if I allow it to and give up my resistance to what is so. That might sound like an ideal to aspire to AND I believe it with every fiber of my being.
When life gives you lemons make limoncello
Back to my restaurant… Through a series of events outside of my control the restaurant that I started 22 years ago closed its doors. A fence had been erected and that, among other things, hastened its closure. I was faced with a choice.. Sit, wait and hope that someone would come along and want a defunct restaurant with a fence in place that closed it off from the board walk or, take it on myself. Taking it on would mean a change in direction for at least the next year, probably two. My old pattern would have told me to resist at all costs. After all, going back into the restaurant was not in my plans and it splits my focus. My new pattern through on the other hand told me to not only not to resist but to embrace it wholeheartedly and give it everything I’ve got. What has showed up has been quite remarkable. The job is still underway and it hasn’t been a cake walk and piece by piece all manner of people and circumstances have shown up to bring a new vision for the venue to life.
I found the “life” under my life situation and in doing so have altered the experience of my experience. My version of when life gives you lemons is to make Limoncello. Nobody ever said I couldn’t have some fun with it…