5 Reasons You Aren’t Happy With Your Life
(And How To Change It)
“Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.“
You’ve no doubt heard that phrase and know that it was first coined by Thomas Jefferson in the American Declaration of Independence. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were regarded as “unalienable rights” given to us by the creator. Note, its says pursuit of happiness, not promise which is interesting. Let’s face it there are NO guarantees regarding that one.
Here is a simple list of probable reasons you might not be as happy as you could be. I’ve certainly been guilty of falling into the ‘traps’ listed below. Follow these simple steps to change and free yourself from a prison that is probably of your own making.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Comparing yourself to others is not helping you move forward. The next time you go to compare yourself to someone else ask yourself this question.
“Compared to what and according to whom”?
- There is always someone better educated, smarter, better looking, more qualified or better able than you.
- AND there is no one better qualified to be you than you!
- It is far better to resolve to always do your best whilst fully acknowledging that your best will vary according to the circumstances of the day.
- As long as you give it your all that is all anyone, including you, can ask from you.
2. Say what you mean; mean what you say!
- How much of what you say do you actually mean? We rarely stop to think about the impact of the words we speak and whether or not they convey the meaning we intend. What are you creating with your words?
- The way you use language is habitual. Do those habits align with what you want?
- Here’s an easy way to notice if your words are working to CREATE the outcomes you desire or whether those words work you like a JACKASS.
Just, Actually, Could I, Kind of, Almost, Sort of and Sorry
is JACKASS language.
Conscious, Real, Elevating, Additive, Targeted, Enjoyable and Strong
words CREATES who you want to be.
- The question is do you want to work like a JACKASS or CREATE?
3. Learn to say no!
- This about telling the truth. The first person you have to level with is YOU! If you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain.
- A commitment to telling the truth requires that you be aware of the truth, in every moment, that’s why honest people are rare.
- The truth will set you free it will set the other person free also. If you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself and others a lot of emotional pain.
- Are you playing by someone else’s rules, if so, why? There is an opportunity cost in saying yes to things that are not aligned with who you are and what you want.
- Learning to say NO can save you a lot of wasted time, pain and effort.
- Start small, if you have to, and make a stand for what you want. After all it is your life.
4. Face your Fears
- Most fear amounts to bad management of our own mental faculties.
- Fear is a reaction to a perceived threat, arising from the anticipation of the possibility that something unpleasant might occur.
- Fear keeps you inside of a comfort zone one step away from struggle.
- Fear is unintentional story telling; it has a plot, characters, suspense, it contains imagery. Fear focuses our attention on what will happen next and takes on a life of its own.
- Fear can involve mental time travel taking us from the past to the future and back again. Fear may not even be real.
- There are two simple cures for fear.
- The first is to subject your fear to scrutiny. Is the fear real? Is it even true? In other words do the research to find out whether or not the fear has any validity.
- The second is take action and focus on what is the next thing I need to do? Then repeat.
5. Make a plan for a change and get happy
- It is time to get out of your comfort zone. Start by defining success in your terms.
- What does it look like? What is the end game or vision that you have for your life? What is it you want to achieve? What are the milestones on the way?
- Map them out and begin taking action immediately. You do not have to have it all figured out.
- Take Action, action begets other actions. This only happens though if you make a start; planning can be a form of procrastination.
- Know that you will feel fear and expect it. When that fear arises and tries to keep you from moving forward remember the end game and keep your eye on the prize.