In need of a vision
A little over a year ago now in conversation with Tama, a good friend of mine, I realised I was in need of a vision. Even a mud map would do, so I set about writing a course for me to live by.
I had no grandiose vision for it, nor was I ambitious.
What I wanted was a set of guiding principals to ground myself in. I wanted something to fall back on and frame my experience and steer me to a destination of my design rather than arrive there by default.
For some people religion fulfills that role but I had abandoned that path years ago (the Catholic version of it). Any ethos or philosophy that begins with the premise that all human beings are born with sin and must become good again, is not for me. In that regard I am far more on board with the way Eastern philosophies view humanity.
I believe that everybody does the best that they can with what they have.
That is something I remind myself of that often. Everyone’s best differs from person to person and from time to time.
Living by default or by design?
I am not huge on planning. I don’t have my vision for my life mapped out to the nth degree. It is more like a mud map with sign posts. I have never been big on details. After living through a 6.3 on the ricther scale earthquake back in 2009 when the sleepy provincial capital, L’Aquila was all but destroyed, that sealed the deal. I was left with PTSD as a consequence it takes something for me to plan a year ahead. There was a time when even a month was too long. Yesterday tragedy struck again with 120 lives lost at last count in Amatrice just an hours drive from L’Aquila.
Vision all but disappears…
Under such circumstances vision all but disappears. Life can be so fragile after all. Ironically it is in the frailty of life that beauty and urgency also live.
As I mentioned above I have PTSD. I say I have it deliberately as it does not have me, not anymore at least, and for a long time it did. An episode could last up to 3 months. Since I would not take medication I needed to find another way to take back control. I had taken the time to draw together threads from all the various courses and books that I have read and been the most empowered I had been in my life, ever.
Walking the talk!
I would often hear myself say to clients, “If not now when? If not you, then who?”
The thing about being a Coach is in order to be effective you have to walk the talk. You cannot ask them to do something you will not or have not done.
I have begun to share my work it and it is now “out there” for all to view, benefit from and criticize as they see fit. As my partner in crime John Williams has quoted “It’s a visceral experience”.
I would rather risk criticism than wonder what might have been if I had only been willing to open my mouth and share what has worked for me.
Questions to consider…
What dreams are you not fulfilling?
What is the music in you that is begging to be played?
What do you have to say that only you can say?